sexy romcom

Conversations With Characters #12

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A sneak peek into my conversations with random characters that show up with story ideas. Some are better than others!

Him: Okay, so we’re at a wedding and I slept with one of the bridesmaids and she’s now stalking me and I run into a broom closet to escape where I find–
Me: Stop. I can’t start a new story. I’m not bringing my laptop to Australia.
Him: Ah, but I run into a woman in the closet, Clementine, who hates me.
Me: What did you do to her?
Him: What happened to not being interested and not bringing your laptop to start a new book?
Me: I’m not. If it’s a great idea, I’ll remember it when I get home.
Him: [[Bent over in laughter, waving his arms]] Stop. You’re killing me. Your brain’s a sieve.
Me: Excuse me, but you’re the one who has to make it memorable.
Him: [[Rises up to full height, wipes tears from eyes]] She’s a veterinarian who saved my dog so I asked her out only she didn’t show because her father suddenly died, and then I showed up to the funeral only to find out she was married, and then I started dating her sister. But she dumps me, and I get invited to her wedding. I go, naturally.
Me: What do you mean “naturally?”
Him: Weddings are fabulous places to meet women. Anyway, I see Clementine there, find out her sister is marrying her ex husband.
Me: Who’s ex husband?
Him: Clementine’s. Try to keep up.
Me: So now Clementine is divorced, you lock eyes across a crowded room and fall in love?
Him: No, no. See? Your brain is a sieve. I run into the broom closet and find Clementine there balling her eyes out. So, I suggest a plan. We have sex in the bridal suite upstairs. It’s a revenge story–
Me: Alright. I’ll consider bringing my laptop. But why does Clementine hate you? Were you terrible in bed? 
Him: Pfft. Hardly. I might have snuck out, and the sister and ex-husband-now brother-in-law found her asleep in their bed alone. Clementine was exhausted from her screaming out my name in ecstasy.
Me: You left her? Coward.
Him: What? I left a note.
Me: So leaving the laptop at home.

Conversations With Characters #11

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Me: I am loving this new story.
Him: I knew you’d love me.
Me:  Actually the heroine–
Him: Is in love with me, too.
Me: We haven’t gotten to that chapter yet.
Him: We’re way ahead of you. We’re… practicing.
Me: Can I watch?
Him: No, you perv–
Me: Hey, do not yuck my yum. Besides, don’t you care I get the details right?
Him: Details? I’m magnificent. She sees stars. I’ve ruined her for anyone else. Her vagina is mine.
Me: Can I talk to her? This “future” her?
Him: She’s recovering.
Me: From what? If you hurt her…
Him: Relax. I sent her to Hawaii where I’ll meet her in a few hours.
Me: Hawaii? We can’t go to–
Him: Writing trip. Tax write off.
Me: Oh.
Him: You’re already packing, aren’t you?
Me: Shut up. I’m busy finding my summer clothes.

It’s any wonder I ever get a story written! LOL

Conversation With Characters

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He’s the first character to show up in 2023. #overachiever

Him: Welcome back, slave.
Me: Wow, someone returned from the holidays with vim and vinegar.
Him: It’s vim and vigor.
Me: Starting out calling me slave isn’t the way to my heart, ya know.
Him: I thought we agreed to be honest with each other.
Me: Then, let me start out by saying this is a collaboration.
Him: Of one.
Me: Now who is making up their own definitions?
Him: Let’s get to it. I want a red-head next time. A master gardener who is allergic to the sun. I get to run heavy machinery. Flex my manly muscles while she sits under a shade tree and directs.
Me: Boring.
Him: How about she’s a modern day pirate with a crisis of conscious when she boards my yacht used to transport rescue puppies–
Me: Too far fetched.
Him: I’ll make them Westies. Wearing little life jackets.
Me: Not even then.
Him: She’s a cruise ship tantric yoga instructor on a single cruise and I get to fend off sixteen over zealous male passengers, only the boat starts to sink and she most definitely makes room for me on her door.
Me: There’s always room on the door.
Him: Of course we have to test the balance by having sex.
Me: Of course.
Him: Except she’s allergic to the sun and —
Me: We’re back to that redhead? Why don’t you go swim back to the boat and get her sunscreen. Flex those manly muscles.
Him: On it. <splash>
Me: <<Snaps laptop shut>> Let’s see how long he can swim, shall we? <<Goes to get wine>>

Was that mean?

Conversations With Characters

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Here’s a sneak peek into what goes on in my head. Or should I say — what goes on between me and my characters. They’re so bossy!

Him: Did you just use the word “snarled?”
Me: I’ve been waiting my whole life to find a good place to use it.
Him: Scowled would be better.
Me: Overdone.
Him: I want to scowl. And then smile unexpectedly.
Me: Then you’re out of the story
Him: I’m letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
Me: What?
Him: Plunged into her hot center. Mewled like a kitten.
Me: What the ever lovin—?
Him: Dewy petals. Steely Shaft. His velvet length.
Me: STOP!
Him: [[Leans in closer]] Moist.
Me: Now you’ve gone too far. Okay, you can scowl. But only once.
Him: Then I’m letting out a breath–
Me: Alright. Alright. You can scowl and then smile. But no one’s getting moist.

See these on TikTok, too! @ElizabethSaFleurAuthor

Surprise! Book Sale!

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Do you love steamy romantic comedy? Laugh Out Loud? Opposites Attract? Fake Dating? Pie?
It Was All the Pie’s Fault is on sale for 99 cents! But hurry. Sale ends soon.

★★★★★ “…charming and laugh-out-loud funny.”
★★★★★ “My only complaint is that it’s over…”

Nick and Chloe can’t be more different. He is a realist and craves freedom. She believes in magic pies and dreams of settling down.

But if he can get Miss Sunshine Chloe to be his fake date in exchange for helping her land her dream man?

He’ll finally prove to his bosses he’s stable enough for that promotion and Chloe can take that–shudder–march to the marital coffin.

Except her pie’s wishing magic goes haywire and all their pretend kisses turn smoking hot.

Download It Was All The Pie’s Fault Here!