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Conversations With Characters #12

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A sneak peek into my conversations with random characters that show up with story ideas. Some are better than others!

Him: Okay, so we’re at a wedding and I slept with one of the bridesmaids and she’s now stalking me and I run into a broom closet to escape where I find–
Me: Stop. I can’t start a new story. I’m not bringing my laptop to Australia.
Him: Ah, but I run into a woman in the closet, Clementine, who hates me.
Me: What did you do to her?
Him: What happened to not being interested and not bringing your laptop to start a new book?
Me: I’m not. If it’s a great idea, I’ll remember it when I get home.
Him: [[Bent over in laughter, waving his arms]] Stop. You’re killing me. Your brain’s a sieve.
Me: Excuse me, but you’re the one who has to make it memorable.
Him: [[Rises up to full height, wipes tears from eyes]] She’s a veterinarian who saved my dog so I asked her out only she didn’t show because her father suddenly died, and then I showed up to the funeral only to find out she was married, and then I started dating her sister. But she dumps me, and I get invited to her wedding. I go, naturally.
Me: What do you mean “naturally?”
Him: Weddings are fabulous places to meet women. Anyway, I see Clementine there, find out her sister is marrying her ex husband.
Me: Who’s ex husband?
Him: Clementine’s. Try to keep up.
Me: So now Clementine is divorced, you lock eyes across a crowded room and fall in love?
Him: No, no. See? Your brain is a sieve. I run into the broom closet and find Clementine there balling her eyes out. So, I suggest a plan. We have sex in the bridal suite upstairs. It’s a revenge story–
Me: Alright. I’ll consider bringing my laptop. But why does Clementine hate you? Were you terrible in bed? 
Him: Pfft. Hardly. I might have snuck out, and the sister and ex-husband-now brother-in-law found her asleep in their bed alone. Clementine was exhausted from her screaming out my name in ecstasy.
Me: You left her? Coward.
Him: What? I left a note.
Me: So leaving the laptop at home.

Conversations With Characters #11

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Me: I am loving this new story.
Him: I knew you’d love me.
Me:  Actually the heroine–
Him: Is in love with me, too.
Me: We haven’t gotten to that chapter yet.
Him: We’re way ahead of you. We’re… practicing.
Me: Can I watch?
Him: No, you perv–
Me: Hey, do not yuck my yum. Besides, don’t you care I get the details right?
Him: Details? I’m magnificent. She sees stars. I’ve ruined her for anyone else. Her vagina is mine.
Me: Can I talk to her? This “future” her?
Him: She’s recovering.
Me: From what? If you hurt her…
Him: Relax. I sent her to Hawaii where I’ll meet her in a few hours.
Me: Hawaii? We can’t go to–
Him: Writing trip. Tax write off.
Me: Oh.
Him: You’re already packing, aren’t you?
Me: Shut up. I’m busy finding my summer clothes.

It’s any wonder I ever get a story written! LOL

A Thanksgiving Letter – From Scarlett

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Scarlett  (From It Was All The Daisy’s Fault) took over! You see, Greta owner of Peppermint Sweet, left her in charge over the holidays. She believed Cole “settled” her a bit. Oh, ye, of so much faith! Scarlett will always be herself no matter what, and I believe this Thanksgiving Day letter proves she cannot be tamed.

Hi Peppermint Sweeties,
Happy Thanksgiving! It’s me, Scarlett. The woman who makes all your dreams come true, i.e. spins magic via an espresso machine.

Greta and I would like to thank you for your loyalty and patronage over the last few years. We’ve had a blast sating your sugar cravings and caffeine needs at our little bake and coffee shop—and that’s all thanks to you.

Also a big thank you to all who voted for Peppermint Sweet in the Moorsville Best Of list put out by the town’s City Paper. We would like to congratulate Starbucks, which came in first. Truly. They keep us on our toes. I mean, they don’t have a bistro table in a floor-to-ceiling, front window whose chairs have heart-scrolled backs–and which have seen a dozen marriage proposals over the years. They also don’t have Chloe’s magic pies. Or, my cake decorating skills. But we don’t mind them winning. Really.

Now. On to Peppermint Sweet’s holiday menu! You have parties to plan, catering to order, and wishes to make (remember Chloe’s magic pies).

Chloe’s pie menu has been up for six hours and you all scare me at how sugar-addicted you are. She does have a limit, however, so click here to order. Like, today. Seriously.

After all, you heard about Phoebe and Henry, right? I am not going through what happened between those two lovebirds who fought over the last fruitcake last season. It’s how they met but fighting over a dessert is just sad even if ours will turn your ideas about fruitcake around.

(Waving to Phoebe and Henry who got married last month. We catered. Yes, fruitcake was on the menu.)

Anyway, don’t be them. A wedding coming out of such a confrontation is not guaranteed. Even if you consume an entire cherry love pie made by Chloe.

Instead, be you.

Order on time.

Then get in here because I will sell anything that isn’t picked up and I hate it when you get all sad and we’ll end up back in the kitchen baking together because no way will I let you walk away empty-handed.

(Kudos to Mrs. Stevens who at least brought wine to our late night bake-a-thon when we ran out of the red velvet cupcakes she had to have for an event. Some of them even got frosted before I passed out.)

PLACE HOLIDAY ORDERS HERE. In advance. Really.

Love and Kisses,
Greta, Scarlett, and Chloe