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Conversations With Characters

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My hero from my current WIP. #SoBossy

Him: You’re making me too nice.
Me: You rejected your date.
Him: Of course. She isn’t the heroine.
Me: But going on a date, where the heroine could see you “in action” was part of the plot. To show how well you treat women and make her jealous right off the bat.
Him:  Stupid plot. Just let me at the heroine. I’m ready.
Me: No. You made your date cry and now the heroine wants nothing to do with you.
Him: Don’t look at me. You wrote it.
Me: What happened to “you’re just the typist to my dictation?”
Him: I changed my mind, which I’m allowed to do per the Character Code, the manual all characters follow.
Me: Let me guess. It includes a section on how to drive a writer crazy.
Him: Chapter one, baby.
Me; It’s the holidays. You’re supposed to be nice to everyone, including me.
Him: Okay, I’ll stop talking altogether.
Me: Wait! Don’t you have a great idea for me? To replace the quote-unquote stupid plot point?
Him:
Me: Hello?
Him:
Me? Heeeeelooooo?
Him: Silent Night. Holy Night.
Me: Is that a message?
Him: Yes. Take a load off.
Me: Aww, you are nice.
Him: Don’t get used to it.

Conversations With Characters

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My characters are usually so bossy, but this one?
Me: Come out, come out wherever you are!
Her: No.
Me: But why not? You had such a good idea.
Her: {{peeks head out}} You think?
Me: Oh, I do, I do! Look. I have chocolate. and wine {{lifts wine bottle}}
Her: I’m allergic to chocolate.
Me: Who’s allergic to chocolate?
Her: Me. See? You don’t want to hear from me at all. {{shrinks back into closet}}
Me: What? Are you, like, five years old?
Her: {{Gasps!}} I am a grown woman. And, I cannot be lured with your frivolous gifts.
Me: You sound regency. We don’t do regency.
Her: You will if I say.
Him: Come out, come out, little one.
Her: {{Shoots out of closet like a cheeta}}
Me: Who the heck are you?
Her: Shhh, you might scare him away.
Him: I brought toys. The adult kind. {{looks at me}}
Her: She’s not invited.
Me: Um, I’m the writer? I am not wasting 40,000 words on a suddenly shy heroine.
Her: I shall consider your participation, minion.

Conversations with Characters

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I can’t even….
 
Me: {leaning back in chair because finally the book is done}
Unidentified male character (a.ka. “him”): Busy?
Me: Get out.
Him: I haven’t told you yet the story I want written about me.
Me: {Tosses dictionary toward him} Look up the definition of “get” and “out.”
Him: You know resistance is futile.
Me: Where were you three days ago when I had writer’s block?
Him: Oh, good, that means you want to hear my story about how I started the store where people find their soul matches except so long as I’m the owner of the store I can’t, which is my purpose in life so I can’t stop, but… well you see where I’m going.
Me: I did something in a former life to have my brain be so strange, didn’t I?
Him: You should be grateful I jumped the line.. {jerks head toward the hallway} … the guy behind me wants a reverse harem but with both men and women. The woman behind him? A story about a reformed demon who helps women get revenge on men who conned them but then she falls in love with her con man and the demon—
Me: Reformed demon.
Woman: {pops head around door frame] Did I hear demon? It’s my turn now?
Him: Get out. 
Me: That’s my line.

Those Bossy Characters…

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So… I started a new story. And, this time, I was going to ease my heroine into the sexy shenanigans reeallly slowly. I put my fingers to the keyboard, and here is how it went.

Hero: Sit down.
Me: But…I am. I just got here.
Hero. Shhh. I’ll tell you what to write.
Me: Okay, but the heroine is a little fragile.
Hero: She’s fine. <<turns to heroine who is whimpering a bit>> She likes how that stings, don’t you baby?
Me: But we were going to start her out slow.
Hero: That was slow. <<points to all the other instruments>>
Me: Ooo-kay. This second sentence should be–
Hero: Am I going to have to gag you, too?
Me: <<Sigh>>

HOT Book Club! Even Hotter Books!

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I’m so excited to be joining these authors to bring new and free reads to you.
I’ve joined 11 other authors to bring you the BDSM Romance Book Club! If BDSM club-themed romance is your jam, join the BDSM Romance Book Club for one TOTALLY FREE book in your inbox every month!  This month, read Black Light Rocked by Livia Grant!

JOIN HERE or click/tap the image above.