What I’m writing

Conversations With Characters

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My characters are usually so bossy, but this one?
Me: Come out, come out wherever you are!
Her: No.
Me: But why not? You had such a good idea.
Her: {{peeks head out}} You think?
Me: Oh, I do, I do! Look. I have chocolate. and wine {{lifts wine bottle}}
Her: I’m allergic to chocolate.
Me: Who’s allergic to chocolate?
Her: Me. See? You don’t want to hear from me at all. {{shrinks back into closet}}
Me: What? Are you, like, five years old?
Her: {{Gasps!}} I am a grown woman. And, I cannot be lured with your frivolous gifts.
Me: You sound regency. We don’t do regency.
Her: You will if I say.
Him: Come out, come out, little one.
Her: {{Shoots out of closet like a cheeta}}
Me: Who the heck are you?
Her: Shhh, you might scare him away.
Him: I brought toys. The adult kind. {{looks at me}}
Her: She’s not invited.
Me: Um, I’m the writer? I am not wasting 40,000 words on a suddenly shy heroine.
Her: I shall consider your participation, minion.

Conversations With Characters. SO bossy.

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A glimpse into a latest conversation with my new single dad character. They love to show up unannounced–and boss me around.

Him: The last nanny was a disaster so can you get this one right, please?
Me: Nanny? Who’s writing a nanny story?
Him: You, of course. <<rolls his eyes>>
Me: Let me get right on that, Mr. Grumpy. 
Him: Thank you. I have work to do. <<waves his hand and turns away>>
Me: Um, excuse me. What shall the super nanny call you?
Him: I haven’t decided.
Me: What are your kids like? And, um, how many?
Him: I haven’t decided.
Me: What do you need in a nanny?
Him: I haven’t decided.
Me: How about a personal chef instead?
Him: I’ll take both.
Me: Of course you will. Don’t tell me. This a ménage, isn’t it?
Him: Absolutely not.
Me: Are you suuuure? Because once I’m in this thing, if you change your mind the answer will be “no.”
Him: <<arches eyebrow>> You remember the last time you said “no” to a character?
Me: <<gasps, remembers when every character who went silent.>> Okay, Let me know when you decide, sir.
Him:  That. She can call me that.
Me: <<Keeping my mouth shut. For now.>>

Wine grapes were sacrificed. The angels sang. And a new book was plotted.

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Hello reader friends! I need your help!! Oh, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. How have you been? The summer (or winter if you’re down under) treating you well?

My summer has included my sister visiting from Germany for the U.S. July 4 holiday. Since we haven’t seen each other in two years, we had a lot to catch up on. Because all great reunions need refreshments, we contributed muchly to the Virginia wine industry profits by consuming, oh, I dunno, a case of wine? (In all fairness, we had help from others.) But now I’m detoxing and back to writing

In the midst of the wine pandemonium, a new book was plotted! It’s the story of a single dad. Since I only have a furry child, can you help an author out? This girl needs some great parenting hacks — the most innovative parenting hacks you’ve come across.

Got an old-world cough remedy? Know a way to put a baby to sleep right away? Have a unique idea on how to handle something? 

If I use your tip in the story, I’ll be sure to thank you in the acknowledgements!

 

Those Bossy Characters…

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So… I started a new story. And, this time, I was going to ease my heroine into the sexy shenanigans reeallly slowly. I put my fingers to the keyboard, and here is how it went.

Hero: Sit down.
Me: But…I am. I just got here.
Hero. Shhh. I’ll tell you what to write.
Me: Okay, but the heroine is a little fragile.
Hero: She’s fine. <<turns to heroine who is whimpering a bit>> She likes how that stings, don’t you baby?
Me: But we were going to start her out slow.
Hero: That was slow. <<points to all the other instruments>>
Me: Ooo-kay. This second sentence should be–
Hero: Am I going to have to gag you, too?
Me: <<Sigh>>