Public Relations Advice for Faleena Hopkins

I attempted to write a blog post, using my 34 years in public relations to help Faleena Hopkins fix this ridiculous and dangerous situation that will impact creatives for many, many years. Why? I can’t stop thinking about how she grossly underestimated the solidarity of the romance writing community, how she continues to assert she is just trying to protect her brand, how she continues to believe she is right. Then I remember the last 34 years and it all clicks into place. I’ve seen this scenario before . . . so many, many times before . . .

Starts blog post: You can’t stay quiet anymore.
Stops blog post: You should be writing your book instead of throwing unsolicited advice to someone who will never read it or take it.

Restarts: Self, you spent three decades in PR.  Those 34 years of working in the most cynical, hard, arrogant, well-intentioned, mistake-prone place in the world called Washington, DC has to do some good.
Stops: And be seen as helping the enemy? Just go back to writing. You’re behind on your deadline, ya know.

Restarts: Everyone can be redeemed. Besides it might help someone else who falls into a similarly horrendous, completely-self-made, reputation f*ck up scenario like FH has created.
Stops: Elizabeth, you are being a pollyanna. She won’t listen. Narcissists never do.

Restarts: But this whole bloody mess could be turned around.  I mean, to a point. She could at least reach the level of indifference.
Stops: Too many people will never forgive her. It’s a waste of time.

Restarts: The public has an enormous capacity to forgive—if you ask for it.
Stops:: Oh, come on. She seems to have crossed that line. Ya’ know the one that all humans have but rarely get to? The line where “being right” becomes more important than “being happy?” You’ve seen this before. Lordy, have you seen this before! They dig in their heels and double down on their stance in an attempt to further prove they are right even if the outcome is clearly going to show they are wrong.

Restarts: FH has dug in her heels so far she’s up to her ass in dirt. Help the poor woman save herself.
Stops: The steps are too hard. Most people, and certainly not someone like who FH has shown herself to be, won’t do the things you’d suggest.

Restarts: Listen, self, you really should support all the other authors who have stuck their necks out on this thing,  like writing cocky-titled and cocky-themed books, with what you can contribute—PR advice. You can at least tell them what you’d tell FH if she’d listen, which is to:
1) Stop talking about it.
2) Start breathing — and thinking. Stop reacting.
3) Identify what she really wants from her life and her work.
4) Apply to rescind the TM on the single word, cocky, but keep the series TM.
5) Ask for forgiveness for all that came before this moment, and DO NOT say a word about angry responses. Be sure to say she made a mistake, and that she’s sorry. Like, really sorry and that she hopes others can forgive her.
6) Ask for forgiveness from the specific authors, attorneys and the publicist she’s gone after and not expect said forgiveness but rather hope for indifference. In fact, consider covering their legal bills.
7) Offer to help/financially support the Romance Writers of America (RWA) and the Authors Guild so they can work with the PTO in changing their policies so individual words remain in the public domain.
8) Find a tribe of authors who can provide future advice on what to do/not do so she’ll never, ever end up here again. Hold them close. Above all else, listen to them.
9) Ride off into the sunset to make her movies or whatever the hell number 3 is but remembering number 4
10) Understand none of this is guaranteed to work but worth trying anyway. What isn’t a reputation worth?

Stops: Take your own advice, Elizabeth, especially step 3. Go back to writing your own books. Support RWA and the Authors Guild in having that talk with the PTO about removing the ability for an individual, non profit, corporation or governmental body to “own” a word. Buy all the cocky books written by other authors that you can get your hands on.

Oh, and if FH does take the advice above? Forgive her.

But only if she asks for it.

5 Ways Millionaires & Billionaires Aren’t Like Us

This piece first appeared on LadySmut.com

bizmeetingAccording to the latest Fifty Shades Darker movie, Christian Grey makes $24,000 every 15 minutes. Possible? Yes. Over the years I’ve met a few billionaires and lots of mega millionaires in my day job. Not sure what they make in fifteen minutes, but I can tell you these super-magnets for wealth exist.

Christian Grey is young, hot, and tormented.  He’s not like you and me with his anti-relationship contracts, and crazed need for control.

Okay, this is really just an excuse to post more pics of Jamie Dornan.

Okay, this is really just an excuse to post more pics of Jamie Dornan.

While your average mega-rich guy may not be like that, neither is he like us ordinary folk. Here are five things I’ve observed about the super rich.

  1. NEVER ENOUGH.  You worry about money.  I worry about money.  The uber-wealthy worry about money too, but not like you and me. As long as I’m paying the bills, taking a nice trip or two a year and someone comes to clean my house once a week– I’m golden. That’s enough. Millionaires and Billionaires worry about losing their super-wealthy status, and they worry about it all the time. They’ll always have money, but it’s having “enough” that’s troublesome.  Their version of “enough” is in the seven figures–for a while. Then they need more…and more…
  2. CHEAP IS CHEAP. The super-rich have odd ideas about what’s expensive. Watch them recoil in horror that a Frappacino at Starbucks costs six dollars.  However they’ll approve that 60 grand for the new pool in the third house with the swipe of a pen. (Or a phone call. They have people who handle that stuff for them.)
  3. RICH MEN DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE. It’s usually someone calling for money. Their voice mail is perpetually full. Their people will get back to you.  Maybe.
  4. RICH MEN DON’T RUSH. They walk. Other people can run–and should run, because rich men despise tardiness in others. So don’t be late for meetings with them.
  5. RICH MEN SAY NO. If a situation doesn’t suit them (like they don’t like the restaurant you pick or that company they thought they might buy), they walk away–even if they leave you hanging. Is that rude? Well, yeah.  Sometimes. Do people around them point that out? Well, no.
Thinking important business thoughts. This is what the super-rich do.

Thinking important business thoughts. This is what the super-rich do.

Ultimately, there are two kinds of super-wealthy men: those that buy their way into everything and those that buy their way out.  Is this nature or nurture? Are they rich because they have these traits, or does being rich change them? One thing’s for sure–you and I will probably never know. ; >