Conversations With Characters #19

Him 1: You see, I’m in the hospital and she comes to see me–
Him 2: Pfft. My motorcycle ran out of gas, right in front of her house where her boyfriend is knocking he around so–
Him 3: In my story–
Him 4: We know, we know. You’re a modern-day pirate. Shut up already about that. I’m an international jewel thief she’s charged with–
Him 5: Bo-ring. And cliched, if you ask me.
Him 6: No one asked you. I’m the surgeon who saves her on the brink of death.
Me: One at a time!
Him 2: Like that has ever worked.
Me: I would like it to, okay?
Him 6: No.
Him 4: I agree.
Him 1: I might die soon–
Him 2: And her boyfriend’s not gonna stop so I have to intervene now.
Him 6: I’ll take care of her.
Him 5: Are you seriously going to trust him with her, motorcycle man? I mean, surgeon.
Me: <<turns to my silent dog>> Finley, let’s go for a walk.
Him 1: That would be good for my PT. I’ll go with.
Him 2: Then I can tell you what I do to her boyfriend.
Him 3: The woods are good for chatting.
Him 4: And a good place for a jewel thief to hide. No one ever thinks of that.
Him 5: I go first on this walk since you all rudely interrupted me.
Him 6: Just know if any one of you falls, I’m not saving your butts.
Me: All of you stay here so I can think.
All the Hims: We’ll help you think.

And THIS is why it takes me so long to focus on one story.
It’s not my fault.
Really.

The Mystery Thong(s)

I am not making this up.

Last Friday afternoon, after having lunch with my mom. I stopped to get the mail. As one does.

THIS is what was sitting in front of the mailbox. Spoiler alert: It’s not mine.

Of course, I picked it up with a stick. I didn’t know where that thing had been.

And, of course, a story started to unfold in my mind because plot bunny🐇 🐇 🐇

My heroine stops to get her mail when her hot neighbor is stopping by with some misdelivered mail just as she was discovering said red thong.

Now they’re on the hunt together to find out who is leaving her thongs at her house (because yes, I’d have them show up periodically).

Then they’d have to go to all the lingerie shops in town to identify where she (he?) might have bought it. Naturally, to make their cover story believable they have to act like honeymooners trying on lingerie and end up having almost smexy times in the dressing room only to have it interrupted because they overhear a suspicious conversation next door between a man and a woman wherein he says “I’ll get rid of the evidence, don’t worry, baby. Just wear it for me?”

So our hero neighbor confronts the guy and interrupts them in flagrante delicto, before HE HIMSELF zipped up his jeans. So they’re in the dressing area dueling with bras and unzipped jeans and…

Well, you get the picture.

You wouldn’t believe it, but we also found a blue thong later that day.

What are we? The cheating evidence landfill over here?

But I kinda want to write that story now. What do you think? Should I?

Christmas Letter from Club Accendos

Alexander Rockingham, from the Elite Doms of Washington series, insisted on writing a Christmas letter this year to catch everyone up on what club members are up to. If you haven’t visited the world of Club Accendos, read more here.

~~~~

Friends, Family, Lovers,

From my home to yours, Happy Holidays. The Tribunal Council members send warm greetings and wishes for peace and joy this season.

Let us start by reaffirming that the Tribunal Council remains steadfast—as I do—in ensuring Club Accendos is a year-round welcoming and safe place for you, our chosen family. The holidays can be difficult for some. Per tradition, Club Accendos will be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week between December 1 and January 1. You have a place here.

Also consider this letter your invitation to our annual Christmas Eve party, Christmas Day lunch, and New Year’s Eve ball.

Clothing is optional at the New Year’s Eve ball but mandatory for all Christmas events due to children’s presence. (I mean it, Lina.)

Speaking of children, Derek and Samantha announce they’ve had another baby girl—Clementine—who is as beautiful as her mother. Clementine joins my perfect godson Alexander and equally-perfect, first daughter Lilibeth. Derek’s message on the family news is as expected: all potential suitors of Clementine and Lilibeth can forget it—in advance.

Samantha’s dance studio, Aerobesque Dance Studios, continues to empower women through movement. Invitations to perform keep rolling in–including from the Kennedy Center and The White House–but Sam’s focus remains on her students, after Derek and her children.

Sarah, Steffan and Laurent expanded their family as well this year with two West Highland White Terriers, Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie has Steffan wrapped around her little paw and has distracted him enough for Clyde to regularly rifle through Laurent’s closet. Clyde apparently prefers the Harry’s of London brand socks to chew over all others.

Check out the two dog’s Instagram and TikTok accounts. They are the face of Sarah’s new clothing line, Westillioux, now being worn by Oprah and Jennifer Aniston.

Carson and London visited Singapore this year to study sustainable architecture for their third house and designed by her brother, Benny, a remarkable architect whose client list is ever-growing. London holds out hope for comfortable furniture in their new home. Carson doesn’t understand but London loves him anyway.

Kudos to Carson’s legal nonprofit, Youth Freedom, which landed on the New York Times Non Profits to Watch in 2022. He’ll be angry I included this tidbit. London would be angrier if I didn’t so… Congratulate him when you see him. It’s good for him.

Marcos, now fully retired, and Isabella have been working on expanding her Garden Grace Foundation, which brings trailblazing green designs to developments and communities. I’m told pencil skirts and high heel boots are now all the rage in garden wear thanks to the recent paparazzi photos of her working in their home garden. Marcos also was happily cleared of all allegations he was behind certain photographer’s sudden career slumps.

Club Accendos was very lucky to have Isabella make time in her busy schedule to work on our gardens this year. Happily, our Monarch butterfly visitors have grown because of it. Check out the art gallery in the main hallway. Eric’s paintings capturing the molting of the last few who graced our grounds.

Jonathan and Christiana’s Foundation, which works with mental health issues of our youth continues to flourish. Their focus on ensuring no child should ever have to worry about their safety, future, or who they love won two new awards this year. The couple also opened their home to several new foster children. I have serious doubts any of them will ever leave. Expect to meet several of their kids Christmas Day at Accendos.

Daisy, their first adopted daughter, turns fourteen on Christmas Day. She shares Christiana’s entrepreneurial spirit, and now offers baby-sitting services for club members while they go “on a (play) date.” Club members sign NDAs stating they will never mention of what the date entails. Correct, club members?

Ryan and Yvette say there is nothing to report in this year’s letter. According to them, the fact two bedframes in Room B3 had to be replaced means nothing.

As for me, I remain blessed beyond what I deserve thanks to the love and dedication of Eric and Rebecca. Eric continues to paint and will be showing his latest collection on New Year’s Day at the grand opening of the refurbished Arts & Industries Building.

Yes, Eric, you are. You’re welcome.

Rebecca continues to dangle vacation trips before me. She argues I can leave the Club in Sarah’s very capable hands. She’s right on the latter, though I would miss all of you if I go away for too long. Clarisse has informed me the plane for the Mediterranean leaves January 2 regardless of my attitude. I am to be on it, which makes Clarisse the only person on the planet who can tell me what to do.

Then again, where Eric and Rebecca go, I go.

We look forward to hearing your news heading into 2023. In the meantime, as we ring in the New Year, remember this: You matter. You are important. You are loved.

Now be good. I’ll be watching.

~Alexander Rockingham III

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So you know what that meant, right? The three O’Malley sisters from the Shakedown series fought to get into this collection. Midnight Starr from Tough Luck won! You will find Tough Luck in this collection. If you haven’t dived into the Shakedown series, you can start here — for 99 pennies!
 

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Celebrating the Holidays in Elizabeth’s Playroom!

Could you use a little more fun? All month long, in Elizabeth’s Playroom, my private Facebook group, we’re having a party. Like, seriously every day for 30 days!

A few times a week I’ll go live where I’ll do readings of books I have coming up in early 2022. Also, win gift cards and books (mine and other authors) during these lives and in the group. And expect games and other fun surprises!

Wanna join us? Click or tap here! Be sure to answer the question so the mods let ya in.