Conversations With Characters #20

Him: You want between thanksgiving and Christmas off?

Me: Like a normal, non-writer human, you imaginary person.

Him: <<Gasp!>> That’s FOUR WEEKS?!

Me: All I’m asking is that you keep your whispers to a minimum.

Him: <<sniffing dramatically>> You cannot expect me to stay silent when brilliance arises which is—

Me: Don’t say every day because…  << gestures wildly at laptop screen>> …what in the ever loving was THIS yesterday?

Him: So it needs a little editing.

Me: It needs a blow torch. You can start gushing on January 2.

Him: December 26.

Me: January 1.

Him: Menage.

Me: Don’t be so one note, Mr. Always Begging for a Menage.

Him:  One woman, brilliant astrophysicist, hides the hot bod due to workplace harassment who also is a secret heiress to Russian mob family that’s she’s running from.

Me: Veterinarian who does pro bono work for all rescues and meets a guy who runs a dog rescue farm that is being threatened to be closed down by her old high school boyfriend who is still in love her but is now into real estate and the farm is a prime location.

Him: I refuse to be this a$$hole boyfriend in this story.

Me: You can be the dog rescue hero if you stay silent until January 1.

Him: December 26.

Me: Deal. Just what I wanted.

Him: You know since I’m imaginary, this deal is imaginary right?

Me: Don’t you dare start talking now.

Him: About this farm. Add horses and cats. And, oooo, my aging mother lives with me and she’s an ex-cop. And oh, oh! The sleazy uncle is on the real estate deal because he‘s still miffed my mom chose his brother as my father and the wife of the real estate a-hole tries to seduce me because naturally I’m irresistible and–

Me: Should have never opened my mouth.

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