Conversations With Characters #14

Me: I got nothing today. <<leans back in chair, stares at ceiling>>
Him: Au contraire mon ami.
Me: <<Chair thunks to upright>> Oh my God. You’re French.
Him: And?
Me: You’re too hot for me today. I’m tired. Besides RARE Paris is until next April. I’m going to Norfolk for SaSS first — hot navy guy inspiration. Then, London. You know how much I love a British accent. Then, it’s on to Denver. Hot skier inspiration. Then, Paris–
Him: Where I shall vanquish all others with my romantic side.
Me: Can we put a pin in it until next April?
Him: I have a Westie.
Me: You’re in. Start talking.
Sidebar: Yes, we’re thinking about getting another dog. 
Him: I know. You keep scrolling those FB Westie groups instead of writing my epic story.
Me. Shhh, I was talking to my readers.
Him: But… <<lifts a bottle of wine in one hand and a Westie puppy in the other>> I also brought friends.
Me: <<Glances over at the six guys he brought with him>> You’re killing me.
All the Hims: So we have this idea.
Me: Of course you do. Amazing unison answer, by the way. You don’t have to bribe me with a puppy. <<snatches imaginary puppy from his imaginary arms anyway>>
Him 1: We are amazing.
Him 2: We each have a particular way to seduce a woman.
Him 3: We choose a woman, randomly at a festival.
Him 4: Then we engage in  All The Wooing Things.
Him 5: We then let the woman choose which one worked.
Me: That sounds like a lot of work for a one in six chance.
Him 6: It’s a way for us to learn about women. Besides, she can choose all of us — if she wishes.
Me: Are you all French?
All the Hims: <<nod, slowly, in French>>
Me: What if she chooses the Westie?
Him: <<big sigh>> She often does.

In my world, the Westie always wins.

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