Me: I don’t think he should do that? <<stares at ceiling>>  Should he? <<back to keyboard>> No. Definitely not.
Him: Yes, I should.
Me: I’m not writing about you…whoever you are.
Him: You should. Because I would definitely do that to them.
Me: Her. Singular.
Him: I want two.
Me: Of course you do. Go find another writer to bother.
Him: I would smack her ass harder, though. This woman can attest. <<gestures to my open office door>>
Me: You brought someone with you?
Her: You called?
Me: I did not.
Him: I called you, sweetheart. On your knees now.
Me: Don’t. You. Dare. I’m working here and I will not be distracted by…
Him: <<slap>>
Me: Oooo, you’re pretty good at that.
Him: Start typing.