I can’t even….
 
Me: {leaning back in chair because finally the book is done}
Unidentified male character (a.ka. “him”): Busy?
Me: Get out.
Him: I haven’t told you yet the story I want written about me.
Me: {Tosses dictionary toward him} Look up the definition of “get” and “out.”
Him: You know resistance is futile.
Me: Where were you three days ago when I had writer’s block?
Him: Oh, good, that means you want to hear my story about how I started the store where people find their soul matches except so long as I’m the owner of the store I can’t, which is my purpose in life so I can’t stop, but… well you see where I’m going.
Me: I did something in a former life to have my brain be so strange, didn’t I?
Him: You should be grateful I jumped the line.. {jerks head toward the hallway} … the guy behind me wants a reverse harem but with both men and women. The woman behind him? A story about a reformed demon who helps women get revenge on men who conned them but then she falls in love with her con man and the demon—
Me: Reformed demon.
Woman: {pops head around door frame] Did I hear demon? It’s my turn now?
Him: Get out. 
Me: That’s my line.