So… I started a new story. And, this time, I was going to ease my heroine into the sexy shenanigans reeallly slowly. I put my fingers to the keyboard, and here is how it went.

Hero: Sit down.
Me: But…I am. I just got here.
Hero. Shhh. I’ll tell you what to write.
Me: Okay, but the heroine is a little fragile.
Hero: She’s fine. <<turns to heroine who is whimpering a bit>> She likes how that stings, don’t you baby?
Me: But we were going to start her out slow.
Hero: That was slow. <<points to all the other instruments>>
Me: Ooo-kay. This second sentence should be–
Hero: Am I going to have to gag you, too?
Me: <<Sigh>>